For my second post on the “one year anniversary recapitulation” theme, I was going to write about imperfection, but after a while, I realized that the adjective “unsatisfied” came out more often.

I am not a perfectionist. Not when it comes to drawing anyway. I create for the pleasure of it and because it brings me balance.

So, where does the dissatisfaction come from if not from imperfection?

Like I said before, drawing brings me balance; I rarely feel unsatisfied when I create. But whenever I do, it’s usually because of one of two things:
1.   It came out nothing like I had in mind;
2.   It was technically flawed, beyond what I could live with.

Number one happens more often. I sometimes have a vivid image in my head of what I want to draw. So vivid that the real drawing can’t live up to it. Some other times, even if the end result is different than what I had planned, it surprises me (in a good way). I don’t know why.

On another note, sometimes, things that appear quite imperfect I love the most. They started on a scrap piece of paper, I was not expecting anything out of it but yet, here they are, very imperfect but satisfying, like the two pieces below.

Have a good and satisfying weekend!

It has been a little over a year since I started this blog. Looking back at things, I am not sure how far I have come. I still feel uncertain, my work is as imperfect as it used to be (so is my English! :-)), but I keep on creating. I might have skipped a week here and there, but I managed the time to draw. Isn’t that good? Well, for me it is!

In the next posts, I will try to recap a couple of thoughts/feelings that went round and round in my mind during the past months. First of them is…

Uncertainty: “Situation where the current state of knowledge is such that (1) the order or nature of things is unknown, (2) the consequences, extent, or magnitude of circumstances, conditions, or events is unpredictable, and (3) credible probabilities to possible outcomes cannot be assigned. Although too much uncertainty is undesirable, manageable uncertainty provides the freedom to make creative decisions. See also risk.”

In one of my first posts, I wrote about the white page syndrome and how the inkblot technique helped me out. I am not intimidated anymore in front of a blank sheet, but I am still not sure if what I draw is “me”. The closest I felt to this was with the inkblots. No need to think; just let go, observe and adjust. But I needed to go beyond this, in places less comfortable.

I envy those artists whose work you see and you can always say it came from them. I do not feel like I am there yet.

Or maybe “me” is an eternal explorer? Is that so bad?

So uncertain… :-)